I’m looking for a book about THIS big, oh, and red. I think it has a man on the cover and the main character is a writer or something.
Someone would be happy to help you find that if you would simply GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
My boss is sending me to Spain on business and I don’t even know if they have flush toilets.
You can learn about the hygiene, culture, food and habits of Spain and many other countries, if you would just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Mary T.
I want to read through back editions of Vice magazine (you’ve probably never heard of it), but I can’t buy them any more!
You’ll find both current and back issues of all kinds of magazines if you GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Rick S.
I want to learn another language, but I can’t afford that fancy software, and I don’t know where to get books or magazines that aren’t in English.
You can find software, magazines, and books in many languages, all for free, if only you’d GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Kathy D, library advocate.
I heard a song by some underground band. They’re not maintstream, so you’ve probably never heard of them. I’m not sure I want to shell out $14.99 on iTunes for an entire album though. If only there was some place I could borrow the CD and listen to it for a while!
You can actually check out and listen to music, if only you’d GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Erin H.
I want to apply for jobs but I don’t know any good sites and the newspapers are only hiring strippers and call girls and those professions are against my delicate nature.
A librarian can help you find good job sites that don’t require you to get naked on the first interview if you GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Jazmin I.
It’s the 5th day since we had that huge East coast snow/rainstorm that I have no power at my house. I wish there were a place that I could go to access the Internet so that I can catch up on every detail of my Facebook friends’ lives, since my iPhone is now dead.
All libraries have Internet stations and wireless connections so you can access all your favorite sites (well, maybe not the dirty ones), so why don’t you GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY?
I want to know what a homo-erectus is, but I’m afraid to type that into Google™ images. What do I do?
Well, a dirty minded individual like yourself could GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Ethan P.
My new activist/support/other group is really growing but we can’t afford to rent a room and Starbucks™ is too small and crowded.
You can reserve meeting space if you would just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Le Anne
I have an idea about starting my own business so I can quit working for The Man, but I don’t know where I can get business information without asking The Man. Is there anyone who will answer my questions but won’t steal my ideas?
It’s easy to find honest, trustworthy help once you realize that you need to GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Kathy D, library advocate.
I’m the mother of a toddler, and all of these excursions to Chuck E. Cheese™ are getting expensive. If only there were some way to entertain my child for a few hours while I got some work done.
You and your child can participate in “storytime” if you would both just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Kirby M.
I want to start exercising but I don’t even know where to begin. Jog, bicycle, lift weights, what would work for me?
You can learn about all sorts of exercise routines and their benefits if you’d just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Daniel S.
I just went to the doctor and he said I have Psoriasis. It sounds like I have a fish disease? I wish I had more time to ask the physician questions so I could learn about this fishy disease?
Well you can find knowledgeable people who can direct you to awesome quality consumer medical websites and books (that will tell you about this skin disease) that won’t try to sell you penis enhancing drugs for your medical condition if you Go The Fuck To The Library!!!
This Wired™ article had a science article linked, and I want to read it but the publisher’s site says I need a subscription. Single view is $50! How can I read this?
School attendance is almost never required for entry or reading articles online/in the stacks, just checking them out, so GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY!
-Submitted by Nb41
I sure wish I didn’t have to buy all these books on Amazon™. They’re really expensive and all I make are the tips from my job as a barista at Starbucks™. What should I do?
Some people suggest that you should GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
When Netflix™ announced they were going to increase their costs I rage deleted my account. Oh how I wish there was a local service like Redbox™ or Blockbuster™ that didn’t charge those exorbitant fees!
Well, cinephile, you can rent movies for free, and all you need to do is GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Racine O.
These economic times are hard. I lost my job and have to learn a new skill, but I’m older now with bills and a family and I can’t afford to go back to college. Where on earth would I find the resources to teach myself a new skill for free?
There are books on everything from computer programming to landscaping, and all you need to do is GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Jason C.
It’s so hard to find an activity that the entire family can enjoy. If only there was some place free where adults and children can find something of interest while spending time together as a family.
You’re in luck! You and your whole family should GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Royogini
Posted on Freecycle. “I loved the Twilight movies and now want to read all the books. Will someone lend me them? I’ll return them to you when done.”
Erm…if you want to borrow the books to read and then return them you’d be in luck if a place existed specializing in the lending of books. Wouldn’t it be great if such a place existed? And if they let you borrow other things too. Magazines. Movies. Video Games. Music. If only a place like that could be found…..Oh wait. THERE IS! GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY!
I’m hosting the family reunion. My sister-in-law eats only vegan gluten-free foods, and my uncle is strictly low-carb. How can I figure out how to feed everyone?
You can spend hours trying to find what you’re looking for on the web, or, there are cookbooks for every kind of diet available for checkout if you’d GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Naomi Y.