This Wired™ article had a science article linked, and I want to read it but the publisher’s site says I need a subscription. Single view is $50! How can I read this?
School attendance is almost never required for entry or reading articles online/in the stacks, just checking them out, so GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY!
-Submitted by Nb41
I’m curious about my family history. My parents, Granny and Gramps won’t talk to me anymore because they’re sick of my questions so I’m expanding my search. I know there are bound family histories, obituaries and census data to look through but I don’t know where to start.
Hey! I bet I can get guidance on genealogy research if I GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
My kids have learned to read—in fact they love reading. It’s very exciting. But it seems like everything they read is junk! I really want my kids to be exposed to quality children’s literature. There just doesn’t seem to be enough of it out there. Almost everything at the bookstore is either inane or obnoxious. What can I do?
Why, you can grab a tote bag and your kids and GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY, where there are thousands of easy books and readers hand-selected by picky librarians, better children’s nonfiction than you’ll find at any bookstore, and much more.
I’m hosting the family reunion. My sister-in-law eats only vegan gluten-free foods, and my uncle is strictly low-carb. How can I figure out how to feed everyone?
You can spend hours trying to find what you’re looking for on the web, or, there are cookbooks for every kind of diet available for checkout if you’d GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Naomi Y.
I want to learn another language, but I can’t afford that fancy software, and I don’t know where to get books or magazines that aren’t in English.
You can find software, magazines, and books in many languages, all for free, if only you’d GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Kathy D, library advocate.
I’m single and bars are icky and I have an alcohol allergy. How can I meet someone like me who shares similar deeply intellectual interests?
A lot of intelligent people would suggest that you GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
I am frazzled. My kid is doing a project on dinosaurs and the cashier/barista/information person at the local chain bookstore gave me a patronizing look when I asked to see books on dinosaurs that haven’t been discovered yet.
A librarian will help you find what you’re really after, without patronizing you, if you GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Bryan C.
If I take my seven year old daughter straight home after school, she battles with me to watch TV instead of homework. I wish there was a cool place with constructive activities we could use to do homework.
Your seven year old daughter could do homework, check out books and participate in great activities if she would just Go The Fuck To The Library.
I’m really getting into researching my family history, but it’s sometimes hard to find records, and so many websites cost money just to search and you don’t know if the result you get is your ancestor until you pay. I wish there was a place where I could learn about the types of records that are available and have access to some records.
There are books, magazines and databases that will help you start your family tree, locate records, organize your research and more, and all you need to do is GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Zaelia (Library Technician)
I heard a song by some underground band. They’re not maintstream, so you’ve probably never heard of them. I’m not sure I want to shell out $14.99 on iTunes for an entire album though. If only there was some place I could borrow the CD and listen to it for a while!
You can actually check out and listen to music, if only you’d GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Erin H.
I sure wish I didn’t have to buy all these books on Amazon™. They’re really expensive and all I make are the tips from my job as a barista at Starbucks™. What should I do?
Some people suggest that you should GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
When Netflix™ announced they were going to increase their costs I rage deleted my account. Oh how I wish there was a local service like Redbox™ or Blockbuster™ that didn’t charge those exorbitant fees!
Well, cinephile, you can rent movies for free, and all you need to do is GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Racine O.
Is there a place I can go to read Infinite Jest without being hounded incessantly by people that want me to buy gluten-free scones, skinny half-caff venti mochas or fair-trade coffees?
You won’t be hassled by anyone if you just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by mykill (who moved two blocks from a SFPL branch on purpose)
I need something to keep the kids quiet on long car rides. I dont have a fancy in-car tv, and they don’t play hand held games. They just kick eachother, bicker and I can’t concentrate on my driving.
If you just GO THE FUCK TO YOUR LIBRARY they will be able to offer you a huge selection of kid’s audiobooks, sing-alongs and maybe even a colouring in activity pack. You’ll never know until you go.
I’m a single woman in a new city. I’d like to meet people by volunteering, but I don’t want to work at a free clinic. Where could I go to meet lots of different people in a clean, safe environment and affect their lives in a positive way?
You’d be surprised at how many normal, not-creepy people you can meet if you would just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Amy P.
Oh no, my internet is out because I didn’t pay the bill or my neighbors moved, and I was stealing their unsecured internet. How am I supposed to update my status on Facebook™ now?
One idea would be to GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
I want to read through back editions of Vice magazine (you’ve probably never heard of it), but I can’t buy them any more!
You’ll find both current and back issues of all kinds of magazines if you GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Rick S.
I really want to enter my favorite radio station’s contests, but you have to do it on the computer and I don’t know how to use the mousy thingy or anything. How could I find someone to loan me a computer and show me how it works so I can win my trip to that concert?
You could use a computer and even find someone to show you how to move a mouse and what button to click and where to type your radio station’s name if you would GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
Cindy S, Librarian
I can never decide which book I want, and I hate buying a book and then realizing halfway through that I hate it. I can’t just return it and I’ve wasted money. I wish there were a way I could just borrow a book instead.
You can borrow books and return them if you would just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Sarah R.
I hate paying taxes. Taxes just bubble up to the government and are never used for anything good or positive, at least, not in my life.
You can see what your taxes have already paid for if you just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Alex G, librarian.
Now that Lost is over, I’m still trying to figure out what that show was actually about. I don’t want to buy all the seasons on DVD. If only there were a place I could borrow the DVDs so I can finally speak intelligently about that damn ending!
You must be living on an island if you don’t know that the library has TV series on DVD that you can borrow for free, so GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY, Jack!
Posted on Freecycle. “I loved the Twilight movies and now want to read all the books. Will someone lend me them? I’ll return them to you when done.”
Erm…if you want to borrow the books to read and then return them you’d be in luck if a place existed specializing in the lending of books. Wouldn’t it be great if such a place existed? And if they let you borrow other things too. Magazines. Movies. Video Games. Music. If only a place like that could be found…..Oh wait. THERE IS! GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY!
It’s the 5th day since we had that huge East coast snow/rainstorm that I have no power at my house. I wish there were a place that I could go to access the Internet so that I can catch up on every detail of my Facebook friends’ lives, since my iPhone is now dead.
All libraries have Internet stations and wireless connections so you can access all your favorite sites (well, maybe not the dirty ones), so why don’t you GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY?
My boss is sending me to Spain on business and I don’t even know if they have flush toilets.
You can learn about the hygiene, culture, food and habits of Spain and many other countries, if you would just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Mary T.