I just went to the doctor and he said I have Psoriasis. It sounds like I have a fish disease? I wish I had more time to ask the physician questions so I could learn about this fishy disease?
Well you can find knowledgeable people who can direct you to awesome quality consumer medical websites and books (that will tell you about this skin disease) that won’t try to sell you penis enhancing drugs for your medical condition if you Go The Fuck To The Library!!!
I have an idea about starting my own business so I can quit working for The Man, but I don’t know where I can get business information without asking The Man. Is there anyone who will answer my questions but won’t steal my ideas?
It’s easy to find honest, trustworthy help once you realize that you need to GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Kathy D, library advocate.
My teacher asked me to do some volunteering with the homeless of our community and write a report about my experiences, but I Googled for a “homeless guy message board”, and there wasn’t a single one! How am I supposed to locate a homeless guy to talk with?
You will find droves of articulate and interested homeless who hold themselves to a presentable level of personal hygiene if you simply GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Eric G.
When Netflix™ announced they were going to increase their costs I rage deleted my account. Oh how I wish there was a local service like Redbox™ or Blockbuster™ that didn’t charge those exorbitant fees!
Well, cinephile, you can rent movies for free, and all you need to do is GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Racine O.
I’m really getting into researching my family history, but it’s sometimes hard to find records, and so many websites cost money just to search and you don’t know if the result you get is your ancestor until you pay. I wish there was a place where I could learn about the types of records that are available and have access to some records.
There are books, magazines and databases that will help you start your family tree, locate records, organize your research and more, and all you need to do is GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Zaelia (Library Technician)
I can never decide which book I want, and I hate buying a book and then realizing halfway through that I hate it. I can’t just return it and I’ve wasted money. I wish there were a way I could just borrow a book instead.
You can borrow books and return them if you would just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Sarah R.
It’s the 5th day since we had that huge East coast snow/rainstorm that I have no power at my house. I wish there were a place that I could go to access the Internet so that I can catch up on every detail of my Facebook friends’ lives, since my iPhone is now dead.
All libraries have Internet stations and wireless connections so you can access all your favorite sites (well, maybe not the dirty ones), so why don’t you GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY?
These economic times are hard. I lost my job and have to learn a new skill, but I’m older now with bills and a family and I can’t afford to go back to college. Where on earth would I find the resources to teach myself a new skill for free?
There are books on everything from computer programming to landscaping, and all you need to do is GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Jason C.
I’m curious about my family history. My parents, Granny and Gramps won’t talk to me anymore because they’re sick of my questions so I’m expanding my search. I know there are bound family histories, obituaries and census data to look through but I don’t know where to start.
Hey! I bet I can get guidance on genealogy research if I GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
I want to apply for jobs but I don’t know any good sites and the newspapers are only hiring strippers and call girls and those professions are against my delicate nature.
A librarian can help you find good job sites that don’t require you to get naked on the first interview if you GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Jazmin I.
I don’t know the difference between “you’re” and “your”, “it’s” and “its” or “they’re” and “there”. My English teacher doesn’t, either. What should I do so people don’t think I’m an idiot?
It’s highly likely you could find a grammar book if you would just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Karis J.
My boss is sending me to Spain on business and I don’t even know if they have flush toilets.
You can learn about the hygiene, culture, food and habits of Spain and many other countries, if you would just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Mary T.
I’m a single woman in a new city. I’d like to meet people by volunteering, but I don’t want to work at a free clinic. Where could I go to meet lots of different people in a clean, safe environment and affect their lives in a positive way?
You’d be surprised at how many normal, not-creepy people you can meet if you would just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Amy P.
My new activist/support/other group is really growing but we can’t afford to rent a room and Starbucks™ is too small and crowded.
You can reserve meeting space if you would just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Le Anne
I need something to keep the kids quiet on long car rides. I dont have a fancy in-car tv, and they don’t play hand held games. They just kick eachother, bicker and I can’t concentrate on my driving.
If you just GO THE FUCK TO YOUR LIBRARY they will be able to offer you a huge selection of kid’s audiobooks, sing-alongs and maybe even a colouring in activity pack. You’ll never know until you go.
It’s so hard to find an activity that the entire family can enjoy. If only there was some place free where adults and children can find something of interest while spending time together as a family.
You’re in luck! You and your whole family should GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Royogini
I’m looking for a positive customer service experience that involves diverse, educated, friendly, informed, thorough, thoughtful, and dedicated staff.
You’ll find such a thing if you GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Ryan G, a former library worker
I sure wish I didn’t have to buy all these books on Amazon™. They’re really expensive and all I make are the tips from my job as a barista at Starbucks™. What should I do?
Some people suggest that you should GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
I’m looking for and I’ve never had to do this before and I don’t know how to write a resume. I Googled for “how to find a job” but there are so many hits I don’t know what to believe.
You are not the only person in this position, and if you GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY, the helpful librarian can lead you to an entire section of employment-related books and materials, many specific to your geographic area.
-Submitted by Andy L.
I want to learn another language, but I can’t afford that fancy software, and I don’t know where to get books or magazines that aren’t in English.
You can find software, magazines, and books in many languages, all for free, if only you’d GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Kathy D, library advocate.
Oh no, my internet is out because I didn’t pay the bill or my neighbors moved, and I was stealing their unsecured internet. How am I supposed to update my status on Facebook™ now?
One idea would be to GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
Is there a place I can go to read Infinite Jest without being hounded incessantly by people that want me to buy gluten-free scones, skinny half-caff venti mochas or fair-trade coffees?
You won’t be hassled by anyone if you just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by mykill (who moved two blocks from a SFPL branch on purpose)
I hate paying taxes. Taxes just bubble up to the government and are never used for anything good or positive, at least, not in my life.
You can see what your taxes have already paid for if you just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Alex G, librarian.
I want to start exercising but I don’t even know where to begin. Jog, bicycle, lift weights, what would work for me?
You can learn about all sorts of exercise routines and their benefits if you’d just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Daniel S.
I’m the mother of a toddler, and all of these excursions to Chuck E. Cheese™ are getting expensive. If only there were some way to entertain my child for a few hours while I got some work done.
You and your child can participate in “storytime” if you would both just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Kirby M.