I’m the mother of a toddler, and all of these excursions to Chuck E. Cheese™ are getting expensive. If only there were some way to entertain my child for a few hours while I got some work done.
You and your child can participate in “storytime” if you would both just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Kirby M.
I can never decide which book I want, and I hate buying a book and then realizing halfway through that I hate it. I can’t just return it and I’ve wasted money. I wish there were a way I could just borrow a book instead.
You can borrow books and return them if you would just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Sarah R.
I’m looking for and I’ve never had to do this before and I don’t know how to write a resume. I Googled for “how to find a job” but there are so many hits I don’t know what to believe.
You are not the only person in this position, and if you GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY, the helpful librarian can lead you to an entire section of employment-related books and materials, many specific to your geographic area.
-Submitted by Andy L.
It’s so hard to find an activity that the entire family can enjoy. If only there was some place free where adults and children can find something of interest while spending time together as a family.
You’re in luck! You and your whole family should GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Royogini
If I take my seven year old daughter straight home after school, she battles with me to watch TV instead of homework. I wish there was a cool place with constructive activities we could use to do homework.
Your seven year old daughter could do homework, check out books and participate in great activities if she would just Go The Fuck To The Library.
My teacher asked me to do some volunteering with the homeless of our community and write a report about my experiences, but I Googled for a “homeless guy message board”, and there wasn’t a single one! How am I supposed to locate a homeless guy to talk with?
You will find droves of articulate and interested homeless who hold themselves to a presentable level of personal hygiene if you simply GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Eric G.
I am frazzled. My kid is doing a project on dinosaurs and the cashier/barista/information person at the local chain bookstore gave me a patronizing look when I asked to see books on dinosaurs that haven’t been discovered yet.
A librarian will help you find what you’re really after, without patronizing you, if you GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Bryan C.
I really want to enter my favorite radio station’s contests, but you have to do it on the computer and I don’t know how to use the mousy thingy or anything. How could I find someone to loan me a computer and show me how it works so I can win my trip to that concert?
You could use a computer and even find someone to show you how to move a mouse and what button to click and where to type your radio station’s name if you would GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
Cindy S, Librarian
I’m curious about my family history. My parents, Granny and Gramps won’t talk to me anymore because they’re sick of my questions so I’m expanding my search. I know there are bound family histories, obituaries and census data to look through but I don’t know where to start.
Hey! I bet I can get guidance on genealogy research if I GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
I just went to the doctor and he said I have Psoriasis. It sounds like I have a fish disease? I wish I had more time to ask the physician questions so I could learn about this fishy disease?
Well you can find knowledgeable people who can direct you to awesome quality consumer medical websites and books (that will tell you about this skin disease) that won’t try to sell you penis enhancing drugs for your medical condition if you Go The Fuck To The Library!!!
I’m hosting the family reunion. My sister-in-law eats only vegan gluten-free foods, and my uncle is strictly low-carb. How can I figure out how to feed everyone?
You can spend hours trying to find what you’re looking for on the web, or, there are cookbooks for every kind of diet available for checkout if you’d GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Naomi Y.
Posted on Freecycle. “I loved the Twilight movies and now want to read all the books. Will someone lend me them? I’ll return them to you when done.”
Erm…if you want to borrow the books to read and then return them you’d be in luck if a place existed specializing in the lending of books. Wouldn’t it be great if such a place existed? And if they let you borrow other things too. Magazines. Movies. Video Games. Music. If only a place like that could be found…..Oh wait. THERE IS! GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY!
It’s the 5th day since we had that huge East coast snow/rainstorm that I have no power at my house. I wish there were a place that I could go to access the Internet so that I can catch up on every detail of my Facebook friends’ lives, since my iPhone is now dead.
All libraries have Internet stations and wireless connections so you can access all your favorite sites (well, maybe not the dirty ones), so why don’t you GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY?
I need something to keep the kids quiet on long car rides. I dont have a fancy in-car tv, and they don’t play hand held games. They just kick eachother, bicker and I can’t concentrate on my driving.
If you just GO THE FUCK TO YOUR LIBRARY they will be able to offer you a huge selection of kid’s audiobooks, sing-alongs and maybe even a colouring in activity pack. You’ll never know until you go.
Now that Lost is over, I’m still trying to figure out what that show was actually about. I don’t want to buy all the seasons on DVD. If only there were a place I could borrow the DVDs so I can finally speak intelligently about that damn ending!
You must be living on an island if you don’t know that the library has TV series on DVD that you can borrow for free, so GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY, Jack!
I’m really getting into researching my family history, but it’s sometimes hard to find records, and so many websites cost money just to search and you don’t know if the result you get is your ancestor until you pay. I wish there was a place where I could learn about the types of records that are available and have access to some records.
There are books, magazines and databases that will help you start your family tree, locate records, organize your research and more, and all you need to do is GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
-Submitted by Zaelia (Library Technician)
I heard a song by some underground band. They’re not maintstream, so you’ve probably never heard of them. I’m not sure I want to shell out $14.99 on iTunes for an entire album though. If only there was some place I could borrow the CD and listen to it for a while!
You can actually check out and listen to music, if only you’d GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Erin H.
When Netflix™ announced they were going to increase their costs I rage deleted my account. Oh how I wish there was a local service like Redbox™ or Blockbuster™ that didn’t charge those exorbitant fees!
Well, cinephile, you can rent movies for free, and all you need to do is GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY.
- Submitted by Racine O.